Ben's August Letter
Dear friends in Christ,
One of my favorite verses in the Bible is one I rarely preach on—but which is at the essence of Christian life: “Those who say, “I love God,” and hate a brother or sister are liars, for those who do not love a brother or sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.” (1 John 4:20-21).
I also like the paraphrase from the activist and candidate for sainthood Dorothy Day, who often said “I really only love God as much as the person I love the least.” Ooooooof.
In the last few weeks, I’ve noticed a pattern that distresses me: people who I know to be faithful, committed, and caring have been treating one another badly in conversation. Sometimes it is inappropriate language expressing frustration; sometimes it is a blow-up caused by relatively unimportant disagreements; sometimes it is anger deployed strategically in a way that looks a lot like bullying behavior.
I’m used to seeing it in the world around us, I’m used to seeing it in public discourse, I saw it all the time when I worked in other fields (especially food service!). I’m not used to seeing it in church, where we are specifically called to be better than that to one another. It makes me wonder how sincere our faith is when we are willing to yell at each other over things we don’t like.
How we treat one another—whether that is at church, out in the world, or on social media—says something about our theological commitments and our love for God. A church prone to outbursts is one that doesn’t look very loving, and one that doesn’t look very faithful.
Consider this a challenge from me (and if that doesn’t convince you—from God!). Let us treat one another with the kindness we offer to visitors and new friends. Let us take deep breaths and collect our thoughts before we get angry. Let us hold one another accountable when we act out of line.
Let us hold up as leaders among us those of us who are the most consistently loving and Christ-like in personal interactions. And let us be forgiving when we fall short, which we inevitably will.
This is a hard letter to write! But the fact that I am writing it means I trust us to go deeper in our faith and practice, to be better disciples today than we were yesterday.
Gratefully, prayerfully, patiently; in Christ;
Rev. Ben